Currently Love vs Money By The-Dream Rockin that Shit Like (remix) see related

Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking off her clothes

While on the brink of turning 25, I find myself in the midst of a major quarter life crisis. I realize that we as people get older as the years move on, but does that ever mean we grow up? I still feel as confused as I was when I was 17, if not more so. The only difference between the 17 year old version and the almost 25 year old version of myself are the amount of financial responsibilities I have. Life just seemed all around better when I was 17. I was still pretty naive about how the world worked, and yet while I was in denial about a lot of my inner demons, I smiled a lot more often.

I've found that I've become less happy within the past year, especially within the last couple of months. After having faced my true self for the first time in life, it seems as if I'm not happy with a lot about myself and my life. I never quite imagined that I would be undergoing such an emotionally charged life crisis at such a young age. Here I am though, at the gates of my personal hell, screaming for some meaning and direction in this topsy turvy world.

I get a lot of the same generic advice from friends and family:

 "Oh you're still so young, you have your whole life ahead of you!"

 "Finishing school on you're own time is perfectly okay. There are people who don't finish until their 40s or older!"

 "Life isn't always about having a relationship."

 "Plenty of people your age live at home!"

Gee thanks guys. As if those things make me feel good about being a 25 year old undergrad who lives at home with their mommy, who is financially crippled and can't stand up on my own two feet and can not seem to find the ability to communicate in order to make any kind of real relationship with a man work.

*sigh*

I really don't know what I'm searching for anymore... Okay, thats not entirely true. I have simple ideas about what I want. I want to stop being so hard on myself and learn to forgive myself with the same ability that I forgive others. I want to move out and be financially stable. I want to love someone with all that I have inside. I want to be loved in spite of who I am and what I have done. I want to finish my undergrad and finally move onto grad school. I just feel as if these things are all out of my reach, and trying to focus on all of them at the same time is consuming and overwhelming. 

Does anyone have some real words of wisdom?

Currently Listening Keep Your Eyes Ahead By The Helio Sequence see related

Gettin' the Job Done Right

American's are accustomed to this general notion of "living to work", while in many other countries people only "work to live". So, like many hard working people, I see my coworkers more than I see my own friends and family. It becomes inevitable that friendships form at the office, and dare I say... romance.

::swoon::

• Limit yourself to only one hookup ladies!
  "Michelle?! You said you couldn't go out to dinner because you had to get your puppies' eyelashes curled!"
  
  Doin' two dudes at the same time at work has a lot of potential backlash attached to it. Actually, hooking up with more than one guy at work (ya know, toss one away and scoop up another) will give you that dreaded title mentioned above, and you will inevitably:
  
  
  A. Not be taken seriously.
  B. Cause a lot of drama and hostility.
  C. Run the risk of getting fired (unless you're sleeping with the boss - then you just face A and B).
  
  
  Work is work; not Friday night at the Burrito Bar where you can make out with different varieties of Man Candy in the bathroom every week. So if your bosses feel like you do more people than TPS reports, you will be standing in line at the unemployment office by next Thursday.
  
  
• Don't sleep with the Boss!
  "You slept with Lumbergh!?"
  
  As briefly mentioned before, sleeping with your boss will earn you zero respect with other coworkers and will guarantee you having no friends and a lot of enemies. If you and the Big Boss Man really do fall in love and it's true and genuine, may I suggest finding a new place of employment? Unless you're that girl... you know, the one who sleeps with the balding 50-something chud of a boss to make a quick buck. There's a term for that ladies and let's all say it together:
  
  
  Prostitute!
  
  
  Save the hookups for men on the same level as you - it keeps things on an even keel.
  
  
• Act professional during business hours!
    "We're so cunning, they'll never know!"
  
  First off, they always know, even if you maintain a really good facade. Work = high school, and we're all just a bunch of 17 year olds trying to eat lunch at the cool kid's table. We need something to talk about so we can escape our mundane lives. So, if people see you talking to each other more than once, it's automatically assumed that you two are engaging in touchy time with each other's no-no parts.
  
  Secondly, even if you two aren't officially getting it on yet, you are now a part of the rumor mill. Get used to it. Just don't give them any more to talk about. Deny, Deny, Deny - even after you two get married, share the same last name, buy a house and have 6 kids together.
  
  Third, don't run the risk of using company email to send your new lovaa messages about what you're gonna do to him with whip cream and rubberbands on Tuesday evening. Trust me - those emails are monitored and that's not something you want to explain to your superiors. This is why the QWERTY keypad on a lot of cell phones were invented; leave those special little notes to text messages only.
  
  
• Keep the hookup out of your immediate department!
  "I'll never get bored of seeing you EVERYDAY!!"
  
  Working with someone that you have a killer crush on can be really fun but it's probably best to make sure you two don't share a cubicle. Trying to maintain a professional environment with someone you just fought with the night before about Spaghetti-O's vs. Chef Boyardee might create some tension in the office.
  
  Like in any good relationship, you need some time there to miss one another. It'll make the next meet up just that much more exciting. Even if he works down the hall in Purchasing and you work in Accounting, you two have separate jobs, different bosses and different schedules. That way when he comes into your office to chat you up in the afternoon in that adorable flirtatious way the passion is maintained for a much longer duration.

So go forth and conquer my friends! And share your saucy stories of office romance with me. Inside this stunning exterior of awesomeness, I, too, am just a 17 year old trying to live vicariously through other people's acts of whoreisms.

Currently Listening The Lion King (1997 Original Broadway Cast) By Elton John, Tim Rice, Heather Headley, Mark Mancina see related

Braille Avenue - Is that where blind people live?!

Adjective; as if struck dumb with with astonishment and surprise;
to fill with astonishment and perplexity.
Synonym for flabbergasted.

My natural response to her questions was to ask her if she voted that day (Super Tuesday) and shockingly enough she was completely unaware that citizens of the great state of New York, among many other states, should have voted in the Presidential primaries. I proceeded to look at this girl with her glazed over eyes and wonder how she doesn't occasionally fall into holes when she walks down the street. People like this should be shipped off to a place that hold no bearing to the real world... someplace like LA or Canada maybe.

The thing that really irritated me the most is that this girl is going to do really well in life. Not just okay - we're talking successful. I'm sure she spends her days not eating, over tanning and sucking face with her hottie boy toy, but this girl is going to graduate soon and head off into corporate America; where she will easily get promotions based upon looks and horizontal poses and will inevitably one day be titled VP of Operations for TBWA Worldwide. President G-Dub defined this ever-obtainable new American Dream where incompetency can equal triumph.

"Vodka tonight, international business takeovers tomorrow!"

What's really disheartening is that a lot of young people in my generation don't seem to give a hoot about anything that doesn't immediately provide monetary satisfaction, which is why too many people my age don't vote at all. I came home from class on Tuesday night and watched CNN until about 1am eager to learn who the projected winners were. Yet, somehow my behavior is unusual for the average 23 year old. Personally, if someone doesn't intellectually stimulate me, I can't have them in my life for more than a day. If I have to explain what the word "idiosyncracy" means, we can't associate with one another. I shouldn't have to have two different types of vocabulary: one for everyday use and another dumbed down version to use for special needs friends.

"Me fail English? That's unpossible!"

I need the ability, while spending time with someone, to act like a 12 year old and then be able to discuss a show I saw on the Science Channel (awesome channel btw) about the evolution of a solar system all within the same hang-out span.

I'm done ranting about educationally challenged folk.
I need some wine and sushi to make things better.
Any takers?
My treat.

Currently Listening As I Am By Alicia Keys Teenage Love Story see related

We're Here... we're Queer!

I recently went on a shoe binge; Steve Madden is my new lover apparently. Anyone who knows anything about me might see this as being slightly out of the ordinary, since generally I’m a perfume whore. Perfume is my secret mistress – you know you have a problem when you run out of dresser space and have to purchase a three tier tower to house your $1500 collection of smell-tastic goodies. Steve Madden is a shoe genius though! His Aplegate collection of winter booties are equivalent to and as satisfying as fantasizing about the sexy security guard I flirtatiously say good morning to every Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday.  

Sadly the color I wanted these boots in is next to impossible to find in my size. I might have to hit the black market soon if I can’t find them legally. To hold myself over, I bought them in three other colors. All equally delish, but I am in desperate need of the blue boots! Anyone who can find me the Steve Madden Aplegate’s in a 9½ in Electric Blue must contact me immediately, or better yet, purchase them for me. It’s Christmas time, ‘tis the season to help out a girl in the middle of a fashion crisis!

I wonder if Mister McSecurity Guard noticed my boots. Well, maybe it’s best if he doesn’t – that might give off the impression of him being a smidge limp-wristed. This reminds me… I have a new gay boyfriend!

ohmahgahyay!

I’m completely convinced that every girl should have a gay boyfriend. They are the perfect friend, for a multitude of reasons!

• They are less bitchy than having a female friend and…
• Less douchey than most male friends.
• Both of you share the love of scoping out the hotties.
• You can text each other in class about the questionable transvestite Amazon woman with the Kung-Fu grip
• They can give male insight to unfortunate relationship scenarios while remaining companionate
• And my new favorite reason...
  
  *drumroll please*
  
  
  Learning about the art of outing straight guys.

You might be wondering what I mean by “outing” straight guys. Well, it’s come to my attention that a lot of straight guys act a little gay with each other when they think/know they are surrounded by only straight guys. Some of you men might not want to believe me, but I’ve witnessed this with my own two eyes. Many apologies to those I might upset if I’m revealing secrets about the “intricate and complex” male kind. I’ve also recently learned that these supposed straight guys like to have a little man-fun on the DL, and my new gay boyfriend has been on this kind of journey with more than just one straight boy.

"Let's play dummy sticks!"

Makes ya think, don’t it! It’s too bad this society still looks at being a gay male as this big taboo no-no, while being a lesbian is the coolest thing since the iPod Touch. I’ve got a suggestion for you guys: don’t deny yourself what you want or sneak around for your man-love while trying to maintain a “straight image”. Just be yourself. If you’re afraid your friends are going to make fun of you, they aren’t really good friends to begin with and you’re probably better off without them. So, if you’re bi, then be bi! If you’re gay, be gay!

Stop making out with girls to “maintain appearances” and then run off to the nearest queen's house every Wednesday night to have a “Madden-fest via Xbox-360” – we all know what kind of touch football you're playing.

I know someone who needs to come running out of the closet already. Here’s food for thought dear friend: making out with a chick, never touching a single one of her girl parts and then telling her you want to wife her up one day is confusing and is a tad suspect! That’s all I’m sayin’!

With that said, I would like to mention to any rich/generous/too much money having people that, *ahem*, present giving time is around the corner, and aside from the boots I will skin a cat for, I am in need (well, not need.. okay yes, need) of a few choice items:

1. Perfume – duhh, as if you didn’t already know - specifically M by Mariah Carey, Coco Mademoiselle by Chanel and perhaps a little something by Burberry, ooh and Princess by Vera Wang.
   
2. The LG Voyager for Verizon – along with this present, I will need the $200 “get-out-of-my-contract” fee along with it.
3. iTunes cards – seriously awesome.
4. A new book, perhaps by David Sedaris. I very much enjoyed Me Talk Pretty One Day (which is, to date, the funniest thing I’ve ever read).
5. Diamonds are a girl’s best friend! Just make sure they are certified diamonds. I will not accept any blood diamonds dammit - make sure there's a letter of authenticity attached along with the 4 karat princess cut ring.
     Leo learned his lesson, it's time you did too!

As Mase said "Welcome Back, Welcome Back.."

Currently Listening Ill Bill Is The Future Vol. 2: I'm A Goon! Cocaine World see related

Ask not what your country can do for you...

Fleet Week

Now, I don't know about you, but I feel it is my duty not only as an American, but as a native New Yorker and loyal citizen of the free world, to welcome our sailors to the streets of Manhattan and to make them feel as safe as possible. I'm even willing to stay with them all night, toasts drinks to their civil duties, dance with them to celebrate their successes, and comfort them if they feel scared or lonely. I tell ya, people don't get as nice as me, the things I do for my country, it's fairly astounding.

or something as equally as adorable...
Clocks a' tickin people!